First Formation: Spiritual exercise for Christian soldiers

(After) Saints Sunday

Logan Isaac

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Semper Familia!

Proper 26. Deuteronomy chapter. Chapter six verses one through nine. Now, this is the commander. Commandment. The statutes and the ordinances that the Lord, your God charged me to teach. You to observe in the land that you were about to cross into an occupy. So that you and your children and your children's children may fear the Lord, your God. All the days of your life and keep all their decrees and their commandments. That I'm commanding you so that your days may be long. Here. Are there four O Israel and observe them diligently. So that it may go well with you. And so that you may multiply greatly in a land flowing with milk. And honey. As the Lord, the God of your ancestors has promised you. Hear O Israel. The Lord is our God. The Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Keep these words, I'm commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you're at home and when you're away. When you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your. Hand fix them as an emblem on your forehead and write them on the doorpost of. Your house. And on your gates. Psalm 119. Verses one through eight. Happier those whose way. As blameless who walked in the law of the Lord. Happy are those who. To keep their decrees who seek them with their whole heart. Who also. Also do not do no wrong, but walk in their ways. You have commanded. Handed your precepts to be kept diligently. Oh, that my ways may be steadfast. Fast and keeping your statutes. Then I shall not be put to shame having. My eyes fixed on all your commandments. I will praise you with. An upright heart. When I learn your righteous ordinances. I will. We'll observe your statutes do not utterly forsake me. The gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 20. Eight through 34. One of the scribes came near. And heard them disputing with one another and seeing that he answered them well, he asked them. Which commandment is the first of the, of all. Joshua. I answered the first is here. Oh, Israel, the Lord, our God. The Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart and. With all your soul and with all your mind, with all your strength. The second. Second is this. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no. Other commandment greater than these. Then the scribe said. To him. You're right teacher. You have truly said that he is. One and besides him, there is no other. And to love him with. With all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength. And to love. Love one's neighbor as oneself. This is much more important than all whole. Whole burnt offerings and sacrifices. When. When Joshua saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, You're not far from. The kingdom of God. After that? No one dared to ask him any question. welcome to first formation. My name is brother Logan, M Isaac. Isaac. And our readings today come from. Deuteronomy 26, Psalm 119 and Mark. Chapter 12. And. Anybody that. Sees this podcast in their feed. Either has found me for the first. Time or has been listening to first formation for awhile and wondered. Why the. The heck all of a sudden I'm posting more episodes. And those are. Are both perfectly normal to feel I've been on hiatus for some time. From first formation. For newcomers I. I did three or four years. Interpreting. The daily lectionary. Areas, which is to say not the Sunday. Lectionary is. The daily lectionary is, or like the second. You know, the, the scraps that fall from the table. You know, preachers and pastors focus on the Sunday readings daily. Reading's not so much. And if you do daily morning prayer, which I as. The Hospitaller of St. Martin I'm expected to do as a part of my rule of life. Our. Way of life. I want. Want to know. What these kind of scrappy. seconds. Are in scripture. And so for. Three years, a full liturgical cycle. I did a, I did CS. Three seasons and then some of interpretating. In interpreting. Of interpreting. The sloppy seconds of the lectionary and. And if you're a grunt, you know, that getting sloppy seconds is kind of par for the. Sometimes. But this. I've chosen to pick it back up today. Which today is. All saints day, November 1st. 2000. 24. It's not F. Just a couple of days from a general election. Action between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. Also our nation's 60 some odd veterans day. As well as every other thing under the sun. Everything's going on. But I chose the first because it used to be that all. All saints day and Martin mass on the 11th was the beginning of advent. Martin is my guy. He's also the namesake for the hospitality St. St Martin for whom I serve as a director of education. And so I may not align with the lectionary schedule. Starting advent and starting a new year. On advent. which this year is on December 1st. I think we'll be entering your, your see. I see. I'm starting early because I could use the warmup. Because this shit's about to get real. And the readings. Kind of evoke that if I'm being honest with you I. I am at the Twilight of a year in which I saw incredible. Growth in my vocation. And then the potential. For my vocation to find traction after. Years of feeling like I wasn't able to, my family has moved around. And a lot. For reasons that were both out of our control and in our control. Control. But we're now in a stable place in Albany. Oregon. Socially, economically and And our two kids are now in full-time school. And so that leaves me. Me who I've been a homemaker for eight years. That leaves. For me to start doing the things that I've said that I'm going to do. And it begins. It's really close to my heart. First formation is what. Doing first formation. If you haven't listened. And to the first episode or the teaser or something. Go back and listen, because I'm very. Honest, I'm doing this for me. I don't care. How many listeners. I do or don't get, I wanted to be closer to scripture because scripture saved my life. The church did not save my life. It was finding. The church in scripture. The most invisible of the invisible. Church. Because I couldn't find anybody who could help me understand. And what I was trying to understand, and that is what does it mean to be a Christian soldier? What does it mean to be a good person? These are questions. I asked myself in combat in. 2004. As an artillery man, a combat arms specialty. They're questions I asked when I was forced out of. The military as a conscientious objector in 2006. Their questions. I asked as an aspiring academic in 2016. And 17, before I blew the whistle and found that I have less rights because. Because of my service. Then I have rights because of my service. And the readings today begin with beginnings. Winnings, even though we're at the end. Of the liturgical year. The lectionary has us talking about commander. About what is the essence? I have this faith that Abraham and Moses have given us. And I say Abraham and Moses specifically, because I. I don't know if the church has gotten the Messiah right. I'm. I'm going to be very upfront and say, I don't worship a guy named Jesus. The name Jesus, wasn't a part of the. Christian lexicon until after the fourth century, when Jerome. Decided to distinguish the Messiah Jesus or the Messiah. Joshua. From the other earlier Joshua's Joshua son of nun. Joshua son of Jozadak in Orthodox churches. They say Jesus, son of Mary. To differentiate or Joshua son of Mary to differentiate from. Joshua son of nun and Joshua son of Joseph deck. In the west, however, Jerome just said, nah, I'll. I'll just make a different, all those will be Joe SREs. And this, this. Messianic thing will be. J Seuss and that'll become. Jesus. But when we make the Messiah. Our own thing by using Imperial language Latin. Instead of coming to where this Messiah is at. In Miriam's command to name him. the same. The name of the son of nun and the stone Jozadak we can make. The Messiah, whatever we want. Because it's because Jesus. I'm using scare quotes. Is divorced from this. The man of the same names, two men. One of the same name. Who were the military commander and the high priest who. He returned from exile and rebuilt the temple. The. These homonyms same names are important. We see it across scripture. There's no. No way. That God God's self did not. Choose. Use this name specifically, in fact, the angel. When. The angel speaks to her Hebrew name is Miriam. When the angel speaks, he says you shall name. Th this child Yoshua, which Anglicised. Sized is Joshua. So I worship Joshua. That may confuse some Christians. It might empower some Christians. I don't know. I don't care right now. Now, because this is my reflection on the text. Hear O Israel, the Lord, your God. The Lord is our God. The. Lord alone. Love God with everything. And then in the new Testament, reading and Mark, we hear also. Love your neighbor as yourself. This is what differentiates. Dates. Near Eastern Abrahamic religions. From. Eastern religions that I don't know enough about. But. But Abraham at gods does not allow us some personal Nirvana. Ana or experience of the divine apart from other people. Abraham. Raham is a nomad would have relied on strangers to help him out. Stranger and neighbor and alien are all Xena. These are that's what, that's the Greek word? Xenophobia is the fear of the stranger, the. Fear of the neighbor. Languages. Condense over time. And so older languages had to say a lot more things for which we. We have 10, 15 different words for today. To hate your neighbor or to hate the alien is to hate your neighbor. And that is one of my starting points. In this. What I believe. About. Messianic Abrahamic, religion. I don't know. I don't, I don't have. A name for it. But I do believe. We have to get to the essence of what this Messiah did. In Palestine in the first century under the unique circumstances that Jesus. Joshua son of Mary found himself. A part. Part of. And in Mark, Somebody has asked them like, Well, it's. Describe someone who is a professional class in Israel, says. Which one is number one there's kind of on, which is the best. And. Instead of going to the commandments. Joshua the Messiah. Goes to. The ultimate cause commandments, I believe it's in numbers. besides also Deuteronomy. And takes. An opportunity to give a simple answer. Well, they're the commandments, which he does. In other versions. The other commandments, all 10 of them, he says, No, no, no. Underneath that. Just love. God love everything about this. This thing that. We've given the name God, but which. This entity has given us the name. Y'all way. Or Jehovah or whatever. So it's. When we say God, when we say Jesus, Jesus. We're, we're making too much of a shorthand. And for something that is. By all accounts in the tabernacle uncontained. Containable when, when the Israelites are stationary in a, in a place. Place in the wilderness or in Shiloh, the tent poles stick out from the holiest of Holies. Kind of like reminder, like don't think that God just stays in the holiest of Holies. God literally breaks our boundaries. To come to where we are at. And so if you don't love God, If you don't love your neighbor. You cannot love God because God is in your neighbor. God is. Every bit as concerned about your neighbor as you would be about yourself. Itself. Do you cannot love your alien among you. If you cannot love. Those surrounding you. You cannot love God who loves. Israel first. And so the, the. Really kind of empower. Powering language of this set of readings. I'm going to confess, speaks to me where I'm at. Right. Right now. Trying to start a fresh something that I thought I was. Was starting years ago. But that, which I learned that. The direction of my life at that time is not where God was having me go. I am in a different position and I it's been made very clear to me. That these other places are still not places where God wants me otherwise. It would've happened. And so I have to accept that what God wants. Wants for me right now. Is to juggle the responsibility. Abilities of homemaker. Freelance consultant and writer. Civil rights advocate. And any other things that I might have, like I'm going to do that. And this place that I call home where I've found God and where I've discovered. Covered God has already been. And. The, the breakdown that kind of took. Explain. First formation. First formation is everything. Anything about prayer in, in my little, like, Brian. First formation includes these lectionary readings. Their reflections on. On them sermon prep. If you run off of the revised common lectionary. Actionary that creates for me. I said earlier, I'm doing first formation for me. I want to engage with scripture. I think that what I bring to the text as a combat soldier. Train theologian and ethicist a homemaker. These things. Have brought me to a unique position. My experiences have enlivened the Bible for me. And a specific way. That I have found. And for many years, and in fact, people have been asking. Asking me, how did I arrive at some of these things that I believe. We've and that I say, and that I do. Sometimes those questions. They're not happy questions. Like Bob Ross has happy mistakes. Sometimes people are pissed. Just like, what the fuck are you doing? Are you okay? And I'm sometimes reminded that people ask if someone. No one else is okay, because they're not sure if they're okay. I've interacted with a lot of people were not okay. And who knows? They're not okay. Many of them are veterans. Not all of them. But I have found that being a veteran. Has made. Us, the kind of people who. People want to say are not okay. And I don't believe that. I believe I'm quite fine. Thank you. I don't believe I'm war torn as Christianity today described me in June of 2015. I believe that that's the only name that people have to give to me. When they compare themselves to me and feel inadequate. That alien, that stranger. That other person, that neighbor, I don't understand. So. But I can use a label. War-torn PTSD. S D a. Take your pick. These are labels that are put on us. By people who, when. When they compare themselves to us feel small. And when I say us in a social sense, I mean, Military. Terry families, service members, veterans dependence. And this new class of family member, like my kids, that my kids. Kids were not alive. Was that when I was in the military, my wife was not, we were not. Together when I was in the military and yet. They know, and I know that we are a. Military family. My partner and I both. No, that if, if somebody's worst weird, Caricatured fears come true. When I start shooting a place up. That people can find my military records and make all kinds of aspersions about other military families. Just because while, you know, they're familiar with guns and. And I should point out it's true. A disproportionately high number of. Of mass shooters have been veterans. That is a horrible, horrible. Fact. The other horrible fact that I will not. Turn my eyes from. Is that 30% of those charged. For January 6th, insurrection we're military veterans. That's compared to a 7%. Amount of the population. Neo Nazis and fascists have given. People I care for a false sense of security. A false sense of purpose by giving them shitty beliefs. And telling them you can act on this. You feel wronged? Stormed the Capitol. It hasn't happened. Since 1812, who the fuck cares? We're living in the moment. We're only. We're only concerned about ourselves and our own desires. I have two best friends from high school. One. The person is. Sipping the maggot Kool-Aid and the other one. One is engaged in volunteering and politics. And is concerned that I am. Enabling fascism. And. They are both my friends. They will forever be my friends. And we have difficult conversations. This is one of. This one friend. I came home from war. And then, and within a week I was in. In their bachelor party. And we got into a, a playful slapping. Mapping match that I felt went too far. And prevented me from hanging. Hanging out with him the rest of the night. And I would. All right. I had to address that with him. If I wanted to keep. Hanging out with him. And I did. I still do occasionally. And will. We'll continue to have these conversations about what does it mean to be enabling fascism? What does it. I mean to be. Unwilling to admit whether one has tickets. What's to January 6th. What does it mean that these people. Both these types of people. People. Are loved by God and therefore. Must be loved by those who love God and who follow. God's Messiah. So. So. I've done the daily lectionary. What I hope to do. Moving forward as do the Sunday lecture. Election Aires. And I will do those a week ahead of time. If you subscribe, you will get. Get them when I post them. If you don't subscribe anybody and everybody, every. Swinging Richard, it's going to get my reflections, who wants them? The Sunday that they, that they are relevant for. So I'm. Recording this ahead of all saints Sunday. Which I think is still a thing maybe. And maybe we're waiting till next week or maybe it was. Last week. I don't know. It was last week. I was supposed to do. All things last week. Anyway. If you're subscribed, you'll get my reflections. As soon as I release them, if you don't subscribe, you will get them on the day. That I'm reflecting on. You'll also get a reminder. I'm hoping. Through. True Martin Eylea, my sub stack, which you can find at pew pew dot Dot com. I will on Friday, send out my notes. My. My my transcript and kind of like main headers. On sub stack. So that those who are maybe using a subscribing. In order to help their own sermon prep. They can see some breakdown ahead of time. But. It also works as advertising for people to subscribe. If they're reminded. On Friday that they could get something on Friday that they otherwise wouldn't get till Sunday. Anyway. Way, if you subscribe. That's. That's what you'll get. You'll also get to comment. If you subscribed on Martingale, you can comment on my writing as well. Right now, sub stack. And my podcast are separate. I'm going to explore unifying them. I don't know for sure. But if. You're a first-time listener. That's what I'm about to do. I will keep this one. Openly available. So you don't have to subscribe, but that's. If you like something in my reflection, you'll subscribe. If you don't, you won't. And if you. I've never heard of me. It's not because I've been making myself. Myself invisible it's because we have systems that have failed to work. In the way that they're supposed to work for the people they're supposed. To work for. If you don't remember or care about anything else. Else care about the fact that. Our systems are broken. And that if you care about military families, that is. It's an integral part of solving or preventing suicide. Suicide. We cannot solve it just by therapy. or pharmacology alone. We have to create. Great and protect spaces where human dignity for military families. This is secured and protected. And right now that's not everyday society. Society. Military veterans do not get civil rights even. Though they fought for them. Military families by extension can also be targeted. But as they are being targeted for hate and violent crimes. And it's not being enforced by the department of justice I write or I'm reflecting now is. In several weeks, I'll be testifying before the Oregon state Senate committee. Committee on veterans to talk about why. In Oregon, we have to have. Some. Accountability above us. There is currently when. The session opens in January and Oregon for the legislature. There'll. I'll be debating two bills. One is a Memorial to joint Memorial. Morial to Congress asking them why they're not enforcing hate crimes. It will be the third. Third inquiry, the first bite, David Trone and five other. House members in November of 19. And the one right now is. Ron Wyden of Oregon. In on October 4th. Fourth of this year, 2024 and the DOJ still hasn't answered. So now the Oregon legislature is going to direct. Congress. Congress to look into this, to ask questions about why they're not enforcing it because. Conn DOJ is not listening to Congress. Maybe they'll listen to the states. Right. States' rights states first, right? The other bill. This is a bill of rights for military families. I won't be releasing it ahead. Head of time, but I On the advice of legislative. The slate of council and other advocates who are kind of familiar with this process. But it's going to be the first swing at a military. Civil rights act. It won't create punishments or anything like that. That, but it will direct state agencies. In. In the law to take certain considerations around military families. And civilian bias. And that's going to be coming up in January and by Jane. By to 2025. A state of the union is going to. To be the first to introduce comprehensive military civil rights act. For military families and veterans and soldiers. And that's either news because it's news or it's news because the news doesn't. I want it to be news. We thrown a lot around, a lot of. Terms over the last eight years, like fake news and mainstream. Media and frankly, I get it. Nothing I've ever. Published has not been brought before the attention of a journalist first. And the journalists are largely civilians. And they. Are not members of the community that they're making money interpreting. That they're making money writing about that they're making money claiming to help. Help. And patting themselves on the back saying they're helping and. Yet. Some facts are not important enough. To. To report and I can't, I can't make them report on it. I can't. Like. Like nobody's ever said it's fake news because I usually cite all my evidence. But I know what it's like to feel. Disenfranchised. Not only. From the voting booth. But also our own political will is a military. Terry community. As well as the, the S the, the social death. That is involved in news. Outlets. Not reporting on anything other than civilian savior tropes. I get it. So I. I'm not looking forward to a bunch of people who should've known this stuff. Years ago, all of a sudden having questions and caring about it and. Thinking that I'm going to fucking save their help, you know, fix. Fix their problems. I've done everything I can to alert. The media. And my peers to what's going on and I've, I've failed. Certainly. But I think systems have failed as well. Social systems former. Formal systems, legal systems. And first formation is. Prayer literally, but I also talked about things like. Like this, because I believe with Abraham Heschel and Martin Luther king. That. When we, when we. Take action. When. We advocate for for justice that we are praying. With our feet. Not just with class tans and closed eyes. But with our feet, with our knees, with our back, with our arms and hands and voices. Does that is the prayer. That first formation. Is is going to be about, and I hope you'll join me in prayer. For human.